The NFL made it’s grand return tonight to begin yet another season and to celebrate, Jimmy Kimmel got a bunch of players together for another installment of Mean Tweets. No one is safe from the critical eye of a stupid fan with a Twitter account.

The one thread you seem to see throughout is something I’ll admit has happened in real life: wishing an injury on players. It’s a horrible way to go through life, but when your bookie is breathing down your neck and it is your legs versus some player you’ve never met, you make irrational statements.

My personal favorites are Terrelle Suggs cutting shade after reading that he looks like a penis, Steve Smith shocking the world by disputing that he’s actually 50 years old, and the 1 billionth Michael Strahan teeth joke served to the starving public. We’ve finally made it, folks.

(Via Jimmy Kimmel Live)

In 2009, Michael Barrett was arrested by the FBI for stalking reporter Erin Andrews. The stalking began in 2008 and included videos of a naked Andrews taken through a peephole of a Tennessee hotel. It was a disturbing invasion of privacy and moreover a disgusting story of a serial stalker.

Barrett served 30 months in prison. Meanwhile, Andrews worked with Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota to enact a new federal anti-stalking law.

All of that leads to this moment from last night’s finale of Dancing With The Stars. After Andrews begged and pleaded Will Smith to come support his buddy Alfonso Ribeiro, her co-host Tom Bergeron dropped this line…

“Hey Will if you’re gonna have a stalker, Erin Andrews is a good one.”

Awkward. So damn awkward. Naturally, Dancing With The Stars fans weighed-in.

First of all, let’s get this out of the way. Yes, Erin Andrews looked like Carmen Sandiego last night. And yes, she probably stole Pharrell’s hat.

Isaac

That aside, let’s get into the crux of the issue: Erin Andrew’s interview with Russell Wilson after yesterday’s NFC Championship game between the Seahawks and Packers. The media pundits weren’t happy with her questions.

Ok, fair criticism, especially from a guy as respected as Rich Sandomir of the New York Times. But it got much worse from there. You see, Erin Andrews is dating Jarrett Stoll of the L.A. Kings, and Jarrett’s ex-girlfriend, actress Katie Cassidy of Arrow and Gossip Girl, brought out the claws on Twitter.

Meow!

Then supermodel Chrissy Teigen (a good friend of Andrews) weighed-in.

And Cassidy responded.

Then Teigen pounced again, with Brooklyn Decker (another friend of Andrews) throwing her .02 in.

Twitter

All in all, what did we learn? A whole lot of nothing. The criticism is likely spot on here but it’s shrouded in a lot of jealous BS. Also, Chrissy Teigen’s still the best and you shouldn’t get into a Twitter fight with her.

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Jarret Stoll – Kings forward and longtime boyfriend of Fox Sports broadcaster Erin Andrews – was arrested Friday on suspicion of possession of ecstasy and cocaine.

According to multiple reports, the NHL has yet to comment on the arrest. Despite being defending Stanley Cup champs, the Kings failed to make the playoffs this year. Most players opt for golf after the season ends, but hey, we all deal with things differently. Getting arrested for drugs in a Las Vegas club is actually much harder than you think for someone with a modicum of fame and the kind of salary Stoll pulls in (he just completed his three-year, $9.75 million contract), even if you’re in a big pool club like Wet Republic in the middle of the day. Stoll will be an unrestricted free agent as of July 1st, and a drug arrest could negatively impact his prospects for next season.

See, kids? This is why you always pay extra for the cabana.

ABC

Just when you thought Marshall Henderson was out of the news cycle, he comes flying in off the top rope with the tweet heard ’round the world. In 2013, the Ole Miss guard was suspended from the team after failing a drug test. It was the source of much fodder on the internet, especially to reporter Erin Andrews, who had this exchange with Henderson:

As you probably heard over the weekend, Andrews’ boyfriend, Jarret Stoll, was arrested in Las Vegas on possession of cocaine and ecstasy. Cue Henderson with the perfect troll…

Marshall Henderson does not forget, Erin.

[Barstool]

It’s been a rough few days for Erin Andrews. On Sunday, longtime boyfriend Jarret Stoll was arrested in Las Vegas for possession of cocaine and ecstasy. Then, on Monday afternoon, everyone had a good laugh at her expense when former Ole Miss guard Marshall Henderson called her out on Twitter.

So, forgive her for being a little passive aggressive on national TV. Forgive her for possibly, maybe taking a shot at Stoll on Dancing With The Stars.

Erin Andrews: “What do you usually do on Spring Break?”
Willow Shields: “I literally sit at home and watch movies all week.”
Erin Andrews: “There’s nothing wrong with that. Feel like some people should learn from you.”

Erin Andrews bringing out the claws.

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Jarret Stoll’s playing career isn’t the only thing that’s in jeopardy, thanks to his arrest in Las Vegas this April; he also may have his freedom to worry about. The 32-year-old Los Angeles Kings forward (and longtime boyfriend of sideline reporter Erin Andrews) is reportedly facing a felony drug possession charge with the possibility of a significant jail sentence. If convicted, Stoll may spend up to four years in prison.

The criminal complaint — reported by the Los Angeles Times‘ Lisa Dillman — stems from Stoll’s April 18 arrest outside of Las Vegas club Wet Republic, where he was found in possession of cocaine and ecstasy. It appears the consequences are quite severe if you’re negligent enough to get singled out with party drugs in Vegas.

Stoll just completed a three-year, $9.75 million contract with the Kings and is set to become an unrestricted free agent in July. Even if he manages to escape time behind bars, there’s no guarantee he’ll be able to offset his legal fees with a new NHL contract in the near future.

Update: Stoll’s felony charge has been lessened to two misdemeanors, according to Dillman. Instead of prison time, he’ll be required to serve 32 hours of community service over the next 120 days. Stoll released a statement regarding the punishment.

“Now that the case has been resolved, I am committed to meeting all of my obligations to the court and am grateful for the chance to offer guidance and share positive life lessons to kids as part of the resolution of this matter,” Stoll stated. “My focus remains on hockey, and I am looking forward to getting back on the ice next season.”

(Via theScore & Bleacher Report)

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It has been seven years since sideline reporter Erin Andrews was unknowingly filmed nude through the front door peephole of her room in a Nashville hotel, but the legal proceedings from the case are still ongoing. This week, it was revealed that Andrews is seeking $75 million in damages from the Marriott she way staying at, alleging that they played a significant role in allowing the incident to take place.

In December 2011, Andrews, 37, filed a lawsuit alleging that Marriott International and several other defendants were guilty of negligence and invasion of privacy in connection with stalker Michael David Barrett’s filming of her at the Nashville Marriott in September 2008.

Andrews alleges that Marriott workers helped facilitate Barrett’s videotaping by first revealing that she was a guest at the Nashville hotel, then disclosing her room number, and finally by agreeing to Barrett’s request to be placed in the room next door to the broadcaster. Andrews, then working for ESPN, was in town to cover a Vanderbilt University football game.

Barrett, who uploaded the footage online, was ultimately arrested and sentenced to 30 months in prison after an FBI probe discovered he was the “Peeping Tom.” He will also be one of the defendants listed in the trial as Andrews seeks compensation for emotional distress suffered in the aftermath of the incident.

Andrews, who now works as a reporter for Fox and co-hosts Dancing with the Stars, may finally get closure in the coming months, as the trial is set for late-February, more than four years after the complaint was filed.

(Via The Smoking Gun)

USA TODAY Sports

The Erin Andrews peephole video is now the focal point of a $75 million lawsuit. However, in the words of Andrews’ father, no amount of money will undo the unimaginable trauma the Fox reporter and Dancing with the Stars host has undergone since the 2009 incident.

“I really thought that someone was trying to kill my daughter,” Steve Andrews testified in court, per Page Six.

At the heart of the suit is a Nashville Marriott, which allowed stalker Michael David Barrett to request a room next to Andrews in 2008 so that he could create a peephole to film Andrews undressing and post it online.

Andrews’ father also testified:

“They told us . . . that [Barrett] had called the Marriott and said he wanted to know if she was staying there,” he said. “They said yes. Then he wanted a room right next to her.

“I remember reading [the FBI report] and thinking, how does this happen? That somebody would call a hotel and ask if Erin Andrews is there and they say yes?

“Then they put him in a room next to her,” the dad said. “And he’s up against the door videotaping my daughter. She’s undressed, she’s getting ready for a football game. If this guy had been a killer, she’d be dead.”

A former desk supervisor testified that employees were trained not to give out guest room numbers. Clearly, this was a massive failure on the hotel’s part that endangered Andrews’ privacy and safety. According to her dad, Andrews has “been scared for eight years” and so much as a tap on the shoulder can startle her.

There is no explaining away this type of behavior. Andrews isn’t being “overly dramatic” and the peephole video certainly didn’t “help her career,” as victim shamers might imply. (Quite to the contrary, Andrews’ father recalled his daughter saying, “Everything I’ve worked for is done.”) Andrews was taken advantage of, plain and simple, and what Barrett did is nothing short of an egregious sex crime.

What she has experienced is something no one should have to go through. The outcome of the lawsuit, should it go in Andrews’ favor, won’t undo the damage, but sadly, it’s the best that can be done.

(Via Page Six)

Via Daily Mail

Erin Andrews took the stand and gave her testimony on Monday against the hotel where a man filmed her through her room’s peephole. Andrews, who is seeking $75 million in damages from the Marriott in Nashville where she was filmed back in 2008, made an especially damning claim against her former employer, ESPN. She’s now at FOX Sports, but according to Andrews – who left ESPN in 2012 – she was required to appear on television against her will as a stipulation for her return to ESPN after the incident. Via Deadspin:

Q: So did ESPN require that you give an interview?

Yes. Because there wasn’t an arrest, because we didn’t know where this happened, my bosses at ESPN told me, “before you go back on air for college football we need you to give a sit-down interview.” And that was the only way I was going to be allowed back.

Q: Now, you did have the right to select who that interview would be done by, right?

I did. They were highly recommending it be GMA [Good Morning America], because ESPN and ABC are the same, and they wanted it on GMA. But like my dad had said the other day, I didn’t want it to be a two second thing where it’s like, “Was this a scandal, or, was it not?” No, this is my life, and I feel terrible about myself, and we want to figure out how this happened. So, I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t want to be a part of it, and I just said, you know what, “I know because she’s very public about it, Oprah is a crime victim.” I talked to her producers, I told her I didn’t want to do it. But this was the only way I was going to be put back on air, so we went to the Oprah show.

Andrews eventually did the interview on Oprah Winfrey’s show, saying that she was “hysterical” and that all she wanted was to return to her job, but that Oprah calmed her down before the interview.

Of course, it’s really gross that Andrews was required to do an interview to return to television. According to Andrews, this was done because some people believed that she did this as a publicity stunt – she noted that The New York Post, Fox News, and CBS all made this claim.

Andrews also dove into the moment she learned that the tape made its way onto the Internet. She said she was informed by Jimmy Traina – then of Sports Illustrated – and immediately called her parents.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3469400/Sportscaster-Erin-Andrews-testify-nude-videos-case.html#v-1664592076185423396

Andrews’ father, Steve, has already testified, saying that he thought the man who filmed the pair of peephole videos was trying to kill his daughter.

(via Deadspin, Daily Mail)

WKRN

Years after Erin Andrews had nude photos of her taken and leaked online against her will, her lawsuit against the hotel that allowed her stalker to have access to a neighboring room is just now making it to trial. It’s a long time for a traumatic experience to hang over someone’s head, and it’s bringing back all sorts of horrible memories for Andrews.

Any time a lawsuit like this goes to trial, it’s torture for a plaintiff. To deny liability, defendants make all sorts of accusations to place blame and diminish the character of the victim — anything to deflect responsibility. It’s why so many of these suits are settled out of court — the benefit of publicly shaming responsible parties isn’t worth the time it takes or the damage it inflicts. It’s a credit to Andrews’ strength that she has fought so hard for her day in court.

Even knowing all that, and with all of us prepared for a defense designed to shift responsibility onto Andrews somehow, the defense offered by the legal team for West End Hotel Group, which manages the Nashville Marriott at which the incident occurred, is a new low.

A horrifying, sexist low.

So, essentially the hotel is claiming that while they did allow Andrews’ privacy to be violated in traumatic fashion, the resulting publicity she gained from being victimized should mitigate any damages they would have to pay. It’s an astounding position to take, claiming that the incident that irrevocably harmed Andrews’ mental health was somehow a boon. It’s the legal equivalent of saying, “Hey, you should be thanking us!” It also doesn’t consider the fact that Andrews was also a rising star at the time and is very, very good at her job, so perhaps that had something to do with her career taking off after the incident.

Even though Marriott isn’t being sued as a corporation — they were excused from the lawsuit because they contracted the management of the hotel — the legal defense has already caused some notable journalists, those most frequent of hotel guests, to think about Marriotts differently.

Victim-blaming is as common as it is despicable in cases of sexual assault and harassment, but to see such a brazen instance of it against such a high-profile woman is still shocking. If Marriott has any sense, they’ll cut all ties with West End Hotel Group.

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You may have heard that after blessing Live! With Kelly And Michael with a ratings surge, Michael Strahan has decided to leave the show for Good Morning America, a fact that nobody apparently warned Kelly Ripa about in advance.

So Ripa decided not to show up for today’s show taping, and apparently feels “hurt and betrayed on so many levels,” as does Twitter on her behalf.

Now it turns out that Ripa will be out for at least Thursday, Friday and Monday’s shows, as Variety reporter Elizabeth Wagmeister reports on Twitter:

Hopefully, Ripa is getting some R&R (don’t you know it’s 420 today, Kelly?!), while Andrews and Mitchell fill in for her.

It also sounds like ABC have at least spoken with Ripa and have come to some kind of understanding with her, letting her take some days off, and then teaming up with her to find Strahan’s replacement. This allows us to wildly speculate as to who she will choose. I myself hope she can convince Bill Murray to join her as cohost. Or how about my boyfriend, Jeff Goldblum?

As a result, everybody is going to pretend that Ripa left on a “previously-scheduled vacation,” so you know, there’s nothing to see here!

Either way, everything will be okay, Kelly. Get some rest.

Now Watch: Live With Kelly And Who Now? Michael Strahan’s Announcement Catches Us All Off Guard

BBC

BBC cut a beheading scene from this week”s “Doctor Who”
“In light of recent news events, we have made an edit to episode three out of respect,” says a BBC spokesperson, referring to recent news that journalist Steven Sotloff was executed by ISIS.

Fox is making an event series based on Carrie Underwood”s hit song “Two Black Cadillacs”
Jerry Bruckheimer will produce the six-hour series along with the former “Idol” winner, based on her 2012 hit song about a wife and mistress who conspire to kill the guy they”re both involved with after discovering the affair.

MTV greenlights a Ja Rule family reality show
“Follow the Rules,” from executive producer Queen Latifah, will be like “The Cosby Show” with a rapper as family patriarch.

Click Read Full Post For More

Showtime for cord-cutters?
A CBS exec said today there is nothing preventing Showtime from offering its service to households without cable TV.

“SNL”s” Hanz & Franz make a comeback in a State Farm ad featuring Aaron Rodgers
Watch Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon pump up the Green Bay Packers QB.

“Portlandia” transforms Seth Meyers into a goth
For his one-year wedding anniversary, the “Late Night” host visited his band leader Fred Armisen in Oregon.

Erin Andrews” NFL on Fox predecessor notices that all “the new on-air people there are all young, blond and ‘hot””
Pam Oliver, whom Andrews replaced on the No. 1 NFL on Fox broadcast team, adds: “That”s not to say that Erin isn”t capable. I think she”s very capable.”

Travel Channel orders Ellen”s airport-themed “Hello Goodbye,” plus “Hotel Showdown”
“Hello Goodbye” will capture the personal moments people experience in airports.

“Sons of Anarchy” cigars are among the show”s new merchandise for Season 7
You can buy a “Sons of Anarchy” Zippo lighter with your SAMCRO cigar box.

Watch the latest “Arrow” trailer
“Ray Palmer's Got Super Swag!”

“CSI” creator settles divorce: He'll give his wife half his earnings from 3 “CSI” shows
Anthony Zuiker”s ex, Jennifer Zuiker, will also get a cut of “CSI: Cyber.” But he'll get to keep any money earned from future “CSI” spinoffs.

Richard Linklater is tonight”s TCM guest-programmer
The director of “Boyhood” and “Dazed and Confused” will kick things off tonight with Vincent Minnelli”s “Some Came Running,” followed by “The Asphalt Jungle” and “Fanny and Alexander.”

I used to think actors got the worst razzing on Twitter, but Jimmy Kimmel's NFL edition of his awesome “Mean Tweets” segment proves that sports fans are maybe the meanest people on the planet. And sometimes the funniest too.

But sidenote: Who the hell has a problem with Erin Andrews? She rules.

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Erin Andrews will be on the sideline reporting for Super Bowl LI between the Patriots and Falcons, a position in which she’s become familiar to millions of Americans. Many may finally be able to see her on TV without immediately associating her with the stalking case that made her a household name in one of the worst ways imaginable. But her trials weren’t confined to the courtroom; in an interview with MMQB, Andrews revealed that she battled cervical cancer during the fall of last year.

Andrews told Emily Kaplan for the feature that the cancer required two surgeries, and she didn’t have to undergo chemotherapy or radiation. Cancer is still a terrifying ordeal, one that seems especially unfair in the wake of an already traumatic period in Andrews’ life. She was unwilling to let one more distraction come between her and her job, however, so she worked through the illness.

On a Thursday night, two days after the surgery, Andrews was on a red-eye from L.A. to Green Bay. She filmed a feature with Packers wideout Jordy Nelson on Friday morning.

“Should I have been standing for a full game five days after surgery? Let’s just say the doctor didn’t recommend that,” Andrews says. “But just as I felt during my trial, sports were my escape. I needed to be with my crew.”

It’s an impressive display of resolve that echoes in a small way how Craig Sager stubbornly kept working through leukemia treatments, and thankfully, Andrews’ story has a happier ending.

(Via MMQB)

Major League Baseball’s All-Star Game festivities began yesterday in Phoenix with the Futures game but more importantly – Kate Upton. The Sports Illustrated swimsuit model took part in this year’s Taco Bell Legends & Celebrity Softball Game, which featured “A-list celebrities, athletes and MLB legends” but seeing as the participating “celebrities” were Greg Gunberg, Chord Overstreet and Jason Aldean, we’ll go easy on that A-list label.
The score suggests that the National League team, featuring Mark Grace, Larry Fitzgerald and Ozzie Smith, defeated the American League team 5-3. However, the AL team had Upton and Erin Andrews, so that’s pretty much an automatic win. Sure, the NL team had Jennie Finch and Jordin Sparks, but come on – Kate Upton. Seriously. Kate. Upton.
And that brings me to today’s thought. I can understand the point of having guys like Overstreet, Aldean, and Nick Jonas in the softball game, because they have some current star power. But why not just load the rosters with girls like Upton, Jessica Stam, Chanel Iman, and Chrissy Teigen, who is friends with Andrews and Upton and Tweeted about the damn game enough that she should have been there? Last time I checked, baseball was America’s game, and our America likes very attractive women.
After the jump, check out Upton, Andrews, Sparks, Jennie Finch, and the other, far-less-important celebrities from last night’s Legends & Celebrity Softball Game.


Kate Upton uploaded this Paul Greengrass shakey-cam video to Twitter last night and I’m including it 1) because it’s Kate Upton and B) those guys are lucky as hell.
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We’ll get to Mr. Cool Guy Soccer Player in a bit.
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Erin with Chris Pratt, who wonderfully plays Andy from Parks and Rec and is married to Anna Faris in real life, giving so many of us hope.
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I don’t know any of his songs, but my friends tell me that country singer Jason Aldean is quite popular. I’ll take their word for it.
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(L-R) Erin Andrews, Jordin Sparks, Jennie Finch and Kate Upton. Well done, MLB.
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Steve Garvey and the National League team celebrate their “victory”.
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Rollie Fingers and the most important mustache in sports history.
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I want to hang out with Rickey and listen to him tell old baseball stories just so I can hear him say, “And one time, Rickey did this…”
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Still not as impressive as his homeruns in The Scout.
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I think a fun idea for the future of the Legends game would be to have Roger Clemens randomly show up and throw a splintered bat at Piazza.
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Mark Grace congratulates actor Jesse Williams, presumably for making out with Rihanna in her “Russian Roulette” video.
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“Congrats on Brothers & Sisters being canceled.”
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Fun fact: Luis Gonzalez was named the MVP of this year’s Legends & Celebrity Game, which we’re sure was a career milestone.
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I’m betting he was cheered.
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I don’t know enough about American Idol to give insight on Jordin’s career but I know she looks a lot better now than she did on the show.
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I get the feeling that Jennie Finch probably gives her pitches names like she gives her kids.
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Jake is an actor on Disney’s Wizards of Waverly Place. I don’t know what that is, but I’m guessing he has more money than me.
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Is there an expiration date on my anger over how awful Heroes became after season one? Not likely.
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Did you know that Bill Simmons carries this guy’s baseball card in his wallet? Cool story, bro.
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There were a few other pictures of Chord falling down and then I learned that he is on Glee, so it all makes sense.
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“You guys can use my songs on your show, if you want.”
“No thanks.”
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Well look who’s showing off for Kate Upton… *adds Carlos Bocanegra to “The List”*
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So Bernie Williams is still alive.
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Pratt was hilariously upset that he was replaced by comedian and Marriage Ref host Tom Papa during the game.
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I can only hope this moment included him crying like he did when he confronted Greg Pikitis.
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You know, something for the ladies.
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“Hi, I’m Mike Piazza. I’m a huge fan.”
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Jonas was actually booed during his introduction and first at-bat. The crowd may have thought he was Mexican.
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Marisa Elise

Important Science News: Gaming Enhances Marijuana Performance [Gamma Squad]

Kate Upton, Erin Andrews, and the Best of the MLB Celebrity Softball Game [With Leather]

‘Law & Order: SVU’ Drinking Game [Warming Glow]

Arnold Schwarzenegger to Film Last Stand in September [NY Mag]

Pharoahe Monch Talks “Clap” [Nah Right]

The 50 Craziest Mass Transit Fights [Complex]

Berlin, Jacket Porn & Other Stuff [Gwarizm]

People Are Writing Scholarly Articles About “The Big Lebowski” [Fark]

Why You Should Wear a Cup When Playing Baseball [Cosby Sweaters]

Shaun White/Target Rips off Sam Clark’s Tattoos [YTWWN]

Howard Stern’s 2011 Vacation Schedule [Buzzfeed]

Leo Spaceman and The Worst TV Doctors [UGO]

While baseball fans and fans of the NFL and NBA with nothing to live for watched the MLB All-Star Game last night, ESPN and bored athletes hosted pre-parties for the world’s most popular awards show – The ESPYs. Because, you know, athletes aren’t rewarded enough by winning their sports. But the star-studded affair is the talk of Los Angeles and the sports world today because, well, what the hell else are we going to talk about? Unless you want to give out your own ESPYs to pass the time until baseball resumes tomorrow. Because that’s not lame at all.

Since the ESPYs are live we can’t enjoy the fun of publishing spoilers all day (who is going to win the ESPY for Best Lockout???) but we can at least make fun of the people involved a little. Like Erin Andrews, for instance, as she recently told Access Hollywood that she’s in love with Justin Bieber. I’m not sure if she used those words or not, but she couldn’t stop gushing over the pint-sized pop star, as well as Ryan Reynolds. Basically, she has a thing for Canadians. I believe that is treason.

Chances are about 70% of our updates for the next week and a half are going to involve Kate Upton in a baseball cap, so here’s another one, but at least this one has a moral. Watch with differing levels of delight as Chris Pratt from Parks and Recreation fails to properly operate a camera while interviewing celebrity softballers Upton and Erin Andrews about their roles in the week’s festivities (note: based on this and other videos, their role was to laugh affably while people pressured them to get naked). Andrews and Upton show off the respective Red Sox and Yankees patches on their jerseys because those are the only two teams that exist, prompting Kate to ask Pratt what’s on his.

Now, if Kate Upton asked me what was on anything of mine I would faint like a fat Victorian lady, but I’m not Andy Dwyer (or Scott Hatteberg). Pratt tries to play it off with a joke, but the women are wondering what the hell he’s doing sporting nautical iconography on his jersey, so he explains it with the kind of honest sports answer that makes jerks like me a fan of his for life.

I’m a Mariners fan from Seattle, so that’s why I came here. My wife and I are both from Seattle, and we love the Mariners.

Awesome. I like to think Kate Upton had a Cosmo Canyon planetarium moment and is going to spend the next two weeks googling “Mariners” and laughing at the moose.

Of course, Wikipedia tells me Pratt was born in Minnesota (and his wife, actress Anna Faris, is from Baltimore), but I won’t hold that against them. Where you’re from is where you feel like you’re from, and even though I only spent four years living in Ohio I refer to myself as being “from Cleveland”. Besides, I would feel terrible if I found out one of my favorite TV characters liked the Twins.

Chances are if you watched the ESPYs last night you’re either way too desperate for sports, a 13-year old girl obsessed with Justin Bieber, a young male perv obsessed with Brooklyn Decker, or you lost your remote. While I qualify for that third option with flying colors, I chose not to watch ESPN’s annual celebration of the day after the MLB All-Star Game because it’s a silly, meaningless display of ass-kissing. I mean, how the hell can you claim that Jimmer Fredette was better than Kemba Walker or that the Dallas Mavericks were a better team than the San Francisco Giants or the Green Bay Packers? It’s speculative and lazy, and anyone who takes it seriously (SPOILER ALERT: The athletes don’t) needs to put down the second helping of Totino’s Pizza Rolls and step outside for some fresh air.
But damn ESPN and their wicked manipulation, because they know better than to just give us straight-forward sports. The World Wide Leader used Decker, Emmanuelle Chiqrui, Amber Heard, Rachel Nichols, and, for the ladies, Ryan Reynolds to make us think that this is actually a worthwhile event, and not just an ad revenue source for the year’s worst day of sports. It’s diabolical, sure. But we’re stuck with it, so we can either keep fighting or we can give in and agree to stare at Decker and the rest of the attractive women (and men, for the two girls that read this site).
After the jump, the best of the Red Carpet, ESPYs, and the post-show thing where people stand around and smile.

(Photos via Daylife.)

“Hey Brooklyn, who are you wearing?”
“Why, it’s the latest from Fruit Roll-Up.”

Like a young Rachel Hunter without Rod Stewart’s old ass flopping on top of her.

Sure, you can have my bank account numbers, social security number, and the registration to my car.

Hey Brooklyn, why don’t you relax a little?

There ya go.
Don’t bother, Tim. I’ve tried prayer, too.

If Tim started crying right here, I would forgive him.

You know that cartoon wolf with the eyes shooting out of his head? Yeah. That.
I don’t care what he says, he tried.
Come on, get closer…

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice…

So awkward now.

Late to the party again, Andrews. Maybe bring Kate Upton next time.

When I first saw Emmanuelle in Space 100 Girls, I thought she was going to conquer the world. Now I feel like she failed to live up to her hype. She’s like the Colby Rasmus of hot actresses.
I don’t even want to know how many bad Bjork jokes were made.

I would watch Soul Surfer if NOFX is on the soundtrack.

Hey Lindsey, do you have a sister for my friend?
Awesome, let’s play Mario Kart.

Damaris is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, so we love her.

ESPN should have a graphic that posts the key attributes of each ESPY celebrity so Jon Gruden can pop up and yell, “This girl right here, this girl’s got legs for days!”
I’m still trying to figure out if I like Chris Evans. I mean, he seems like a cool guy, but then again, Cellular was AWFUL.

Oh yeah, Seth Meyers hosted, so I’m sure he told some jokes and then looked around as if he expects raucous laughter.
Justin Timberlake, of course, is required to attend everything.

Meanwhile, it’s the kid who wore a Texas Rangers jacket with a San Francisco Giants hat during last year’s World Series.

Get it? Because he presented with a racecar driver? Stop, ESPN, I’m pissing myself.
All the money in the world and not a single penny for taste. If only Brian Wilson would show up and teach him a thing or two.

Finally, some style and elegance.

Oh yeah, work it, B.
“F*CK YOU, DALLAS MAVERICKS!”
“Whatever, we beat LeBron.”
They also make appearances in my dreams.
ESPN had a pair of actors reenact this famous scene from the Vancouver rioting, because it’s funny, you see.

Kiefer wasn’t presenting, he was just upset that the ESPY wasn’t a bottle.
“Haha, good one, Jay!”
Can someone introduce Jonah Hill to Wayne Knight?
Who are three men who lost their wristwatches inside of models last night?

Amber Heard is, of course, Seth Rogen’s believable girlfriend in Pineapple Express, while Cee Lo is a music star and Cam Newton will be giving back a Heisman Trophy eventually.

Oh hey, Amber, do you have any plans for after the show?
My apologies, Cee Lo. I didn’t mean to impose.

Haha, you’re the coolest, Cee Lo!

Hi Maria, have you met Rachel Nichols?

Rachel, have you met Maria Sharapova?

Well hello, ladies. Say, do you girls have any Hebrew in you? Want some?
DAMN YOU, AMAR’E STOUDAMIRE!

You may have seen this gallery already. The two best reasons why I can come up with are:
1. You have a google alert set for “Self Magazine”, which would be hilarious, or
2. You frequent one of those sites where a guy is already MS Painting ERIN ANDREWS NASTY BOOBY STRETCH CLICK HERE across the pictures before they’re even uploaded.
Regardless, With Leather likes to consider itself the industry standard in comedy sports blogs who appreciate CrossFit. We also consider ourselves people who enjoy a good Beautiful Woman Exercising and wanted to share these with you. Granted, we also wanted to come up with funny captions for each picture, but the only Erin Andrews jokes are easy (they took these pictures through a peephole, ESPN is going to give Erin her own subsection about CrossFit with articles by Chuck Klosterman, etc.) or perverted (they took these pictures through a peephole, everything she does looks like a sexual position, etc.).
If you want more, the pictures were published a couple of days ago on Self.com, and Self.com is like the fifth thing you get when you type “Erin Andrews Crossfit”, because a lot of websites have “bro” in their name.
Please click through and enjoy a lady in much better shape than the rest of us. Don’t worry, slideshows are good exercise.

K. aka Arrogantly

Netflix Stock Plummets After Price Hikes Take Effect [Moviefone]

Swizz Beatz’s Jump Off Christina Elizabeth On Sexting Scandal [The Urban Daily]

We May Not Have The NBA, But We Still Have Basketball [ETSF]

Elizabeth, The Other Olsen Sister [GQ]

New Underground Bunker Ensures Porn Stars Will Survive the Apocalypse [Film Drunk]

10 Plays To Improve Your Skin [AskMen]

Jobless Claims Rise To 428,000 In A Week [NewsOne]

Erin Andrews Is Either Dead Or Exercising [With Leather]

Rapper Tim Dog Pleads Guilty To Grand Larceny [HHDX]

Suspended Animation FDA-Approved For Human Trials [Gamma Squad]

This Guy’s Mugshot Will Haunt Your Dreams Forever [Uproxx]

12 Cases of The Unexplained, Disappearing TV Character [Pajiba]

Veteran spelling bee reporter Erin Andrews tells TMZ, stringing letters together is no easy business — in fact, it’s so nerve-wracking, some young contestants break a sweat … and even lose consciousness.

But is it an actual sport?

No, but this video is fun to watch, because it’s basically the same type of rationalization and shoulder-shrugging Burnsy and I do on a daily basis at With Leather. “Is dog surfing a sport?” “Well, dogs are cute and surfing is a sport, so why not”. Or even better, “Kate Upton is milking a cow in her underwear, but uh, she was in Sports Illustrated, right? So that’s sports.” I hope she never gets a TV show or appears in a movie, I don’t want to lose her to the Uproxx lifestyle brands.

Also, this video is fun to watch because Erin Andrews is pretty, likeable and looks good in glasses.

[via TMZ]

Rebecca Grant’s Wikipedia disambiguation refers to her as “Sports Reporter, Maxim / FHM Model”. TMZ, being the Worldwide Leader In Kim Kardashian Excuses and Justin Bieber Baby Mama Drama, turns a five second interview with her about what she’s doing for Thanksgiving into a minute-and-a-half piece that simultaneously starts some sh*t with Erin Andrews and tries to get them to have sex with each other. It’s the kind of thing they’d give an award to, if the Emmys wasn’t an institution built on payola and gave awards to catty pricks in indoor wool beanies.

If we’re picking sides, though, I’m going with Erin. Sure, Rebecca is pretty hot, but she’s hot in a way that makes you think you could win her by throwing balls at milk jugs at a carnival. She looks like she should be Megan Fox’s stage mom. Also, Erin Andrews is a sideline reporter who just happens to be pretty. Rebecca’s resume says “former co-host of ‘NFL Under the Helmet'”, but right under it it says “Juggy – ‘Man Show'”. You can watch the FIRE STARTING video after the jump, but be warned, it might make you hate women and men.

“Duuuuuude, hot chick!” This thing is seriously one forced pun away from being the Mr. Skin Minute. I’m definitely backing Erin. Also, how do I get these guys to follow me from my house to my car, I want to start beef with Peter Gammons.

Sally Ferreira

Amazon’s Cyber Monday Video Game Deals [GamePro]

How The Waffle House Became A Crime Mecca [News One]

Terrell Owens Tweets To Pay The Bills [TMZ]

Top 10 Musicians Who Chased the Dragon [Listeverse]

Christian Bale Won’t Play Batman Again [HuffPo]

Ten Skits That Prove ‘The Muppet Show’ Was For Adults More Than Kids [Warming Glow]

Apple Fanatics Bashed in New Samsung Ad [DrJays]

The Most Insane Black Friday Moments You Will Ever See [Uproxx]

2 Words Men Should Never Say to Women [The Root]

Can Golf Thrive Without Tiger? [Variety]

Gifts Guys Won’t Be Able to Get Away With Anymore by Next Black Friday [Gamma Squad]

Rebecca Grant Vs. Erin Andrews: The Worst And Sexiest Feud Of All Time [With Leather]

Man Watched Child Porn On Flight [The Daily Beast]

25 Things You Didn’t Know About ‘Network’ [Moviefone]

Man Stands Throughout 7-Hour Flight [CNN]

Submit Questions To Our New “Maildrop” Feature [TSS]

By defeating the New England Patriots 21-17 last night in Indianapolis, the New York Giants are the Super Bowl XLVI Champions. *holds for applause* Chances are you watched the game and know that it started off boring, then got really exciting, had some old lady flopping around and later ended with Giants quarterback Eli Manning leading what has become his trademark in a 4th quarter comeback. Manning earned his second Super Bowl MVP and he should headline an offseason of stories not limited to but including:

• Is Eli better than his brother Peyton Manning now? And many lazy people will say yes because he has two Super Bowl rings.
• Is the era of Bill Belichick, Tom Brady and the Patriots over? And the answer is no, because Tom Brady is still a badass.
• Has Gisele Bundchen’s god forsaken her? Probably.
• Where is Peyton going to play? Will he end up in Miami? Washington? With the New York Jets? The Toronto Argonauts? And the answer is Miami. It has to happen. I sacrificed way too many virgins to the gods this weekend.

And there will be other news and notes, but they’ll all irresponsibly gloss over the fact that on Saturday, Kate Upton, Chrissy Teigen, Erin Andrews and some other people who claim to be famous played in the sixth annual Celebrity Beach Bowl, and while nobody tried desperately to tear Upton’s shorts off like Tom Arnold did with Marisa Miller last year, she still managed to steal our hearts once again.
Also, Brooklyn Decker was at the GQ/Lacoste Super Bowl party with some guy who plays ping pong or something, so I included them so they don’t feel left out and cry. I’m a sweetheart.

(Images via Getty.)
The fact that Artie Lange was more athletic than me this weekend is depressing.
I don’t know very much about Chase Crawford, but I don’t like him.
Having cheerleaders at an event with Kate Upton is like visual gluttony.
I loved Chris Meloni in Wet Hot American Summer, but he seems like a strange man.
I don’t know who Christina McLarty is or what she does, but I am a huge fan.
Of course David Arquette was on the prowl, taking a break from not acting.
Gee, a football huddle with Deion Sanders and Merril Hoge calling the plays? YES PLEASE!
Katy Perry didn’t play in the the Beach Bowl, but she did present at the NFL Honors on Saturday night, and of course she made a joke to Tim Tebow, telling him that her parents say, “Hi.” Nobody laughed.
Maria Menounos is adorable.
Oh good, Arquette is getting his stink all over Nina Dobrev and Hope Solo, too.
“Quick, send scouts to check out Terrell Owens at the Beach Bowl game!” – Not a single NFL GM.
$20 says Joe tried to pull a Namath.
Can you two get a little closer, my lens is small.
This guy is in the band The Fray, which performed songs from their new album, “Music to Shave Your Chest To.”
Okay, down to business.

Jeffery Taylor (photo. Vanderbilt University)

Ever since I can remember, I have been in awe of NBA players. At the age of five I would cut out newspaper clippings of my favorite players like Allan Houston and Patrick Ewing and put them in a shoebox. I have basketball cards in stacks of binders that I’ve been buying since around the same age. My autograph collection is deep, ranging from guys like Houston, Jason Kidd and Allen Iverson to Primoz Brezec, Moochie Norris and Brandon Armstrong. Any time I had the chance to meet one of my favorite players I remember being more nervous talking to them than talking to girls.

I remember in eighth grade, there was an event for Nets season ticket holders during March Madness and I was practically trembling as I approached Richard Jefferson to ask what he thought of my bracket.

While I won’t necessarily say these guys were my role models, I will say that NBA players were awe-inspiring. I spent hundreds of hours watching them play and that “holy crap, this is Jason Kidd” feeling never wore off for me. Until now.

Upon entering college at Vanderbilt University, I became involved as a student manager with the men’s basketball team. I was around an SEC college basketball program day in and day out and was still kind of surprised by some of the things that happened to me. I only managed part-time as a freshman, but the weekend we were scheduled to play Kentucky, none of the full-time managers were able to let them into the gym for a shootaround. They asked me if I could do it. My heart probably skipped a beat.

This was the team with John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins and Patrick Patterson, No. 1 in the nation, with John Calipari as the head coach. This was the best team in college basketball, one with gobbles of NBA talent and here I was letting them into the gym. I kept pinching myself at the thought as I waited for the team to arrive, and when they finally did I was starstruck. Coach Cal shook my hand and then asked if I could give him a tour of the locker room and I just nodded my head, and then led him into our locker room.

Following that, I went up to the court to make sure the team had everything they needed, and Erin Andrews was waiting there to interview some of their players about the game. Right as I first saw Erin Andrews, I remember turning around and seeing DeMarcus Cousins roll in to the gym with huge glasses, sweatpants rolled up above his knees, and flip-flops with knee-high socks, plopping down to be interviewed by Erin Andrews. At that moment I was thinking, Cousins either has more swag than I could ever imagine or was not aware he was being interviewed by Erin freakin’ Andrews. I think it was a combination of the two, but either way that experience was one of the coolest of my life.

The summer following my freshman year was when I first interned for Dime. I began actually interviewing and meeting players as a journalist as opposed to a fan, but I must admit it was incredibly hard to suppress the urges. I had to act unprofessionally. The first event I ever covered for Dime was a Nets draft workout featuring Tiny Gallon, Larry Sanders, Elijah Millsap, and Magnum Rolle. After getting interviews with Gallon and Sanders, I strongly considered asking for their autographs because I thought it would be cool to add them to the collection as the first players I interviewed for Dime. I teetered back and forth with the issue for 10 minutes – “should I, shouldn’t I, should I, shouldn’t I” – and ultimately decided not to do it. But to say I didn’t regret asking them would be lying. I knew asking them would have been unprofessional and would’ve reflected poorly on me, but I was 19 and covering NBA Draft workouts and talking to future NBA players. How many people would kill to be in the position I was in?

Yo, VIP! Let’s briefly kick it!

Yesterday we shared with you the thrilling reality of Vanilla Ice on SportsCenter, promoting his third-best theatrical effort to date (behind Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze and Cool As Ice), Happy Madison’s That’s My Boy.

That appearance could only go in so many directions, and assuming Tokka and Rahzar never burst into ESPN studios and start fighting turtles to a ninja song, it went in the best one — Vanilla Ice 90s-dancing to ‘Ice Ice Baby’ with Erin Andrews. She tried to get away before the jackers jacked. How do you know it’s ‘Ice Ice Baby’ he’s singing and not Queen and David Bowie’s ‘Under Pressure’? ‘Under Pressure’ goes ding ding ding dinga ding ding, but ‘Ice Ice Baby’ goes ding ding ding dinga ding ding CHING ding-ding ding ding dinga ding ding. Obvious difference.

Never forget, this glorious moment was made possible by ESPN’s dearth of coolness and Adam Sandler’s terrible movies. Word to your mother.

[Video via Twitter]

ESPN sideline reporter Jenn Brown took batting practice with the South Carolina Gamecocks baseball team at the College World Series recently, and if you’ve never seen the former Florida Gators softball player take a cut, it’s a thing of beauty. Lost Letterman compares her to Ichiro. Not sure I’d go that far, but it’s close. At the very least she looks a lot better swinging a bat than Rachel Nichols would.

She even gives switch-hitting a try, but just like me, she’s better from the left than the right. Unlike me, she hits most of the balls thrown her way, and she never does that thing where she pretends like her wrists are hurting and that’s why she’s not doing well.

If that’s not enough to make you watch the video, here’s the hard sell from South Carolina coach Ray Tanner:

“She’s got a really nice swing; really nice swing. Technique, fluid, and she’s got better wheels than anyone we’ve got,” Tanner said. “She’s a step faster than Tanner English. She’s got nice wheels. Have you ever seen her run?”

Video is after the jump.

Instant YouTube analysis:

2/10, would not let take batting practice

Florida Governor Refuses To Enact Obamacare [The Root]

Erin Andrews Is Going To Fox [Brobible]

“Ted” Bests “Magic Mike” & “Brave” At the Box Office [Moe Jackson]

Fila: Fallen Luxury [Gwarizm]

Ranking The 10 Best HBO Dramas [Unreality]

Rihanna Mourns The Loss Of Her Grandmother [Karen Civil]

Tyson, Holyfield Heal ‘Bite Fight’ Wounds Over Twitter [Keeping Score]

Man Plagued by Porn-Induced Headaches [ABC News]

The Art Of Manipulation [TechCrunch]

Top 10 Olympic Games Songs [Listverse]

4 Nude Jobs Other Than Stripping [Coed]

18 Funny Women You Should Be Following On Twitter [HuffPost]

New Mexico Mom Jailed for Overdue ‘Twilight’ Book, DVDs [NewsFeed]

‘The Price Is Right’ Contestant Fell Down, Lost A Tooth & Handled It Like A Champ [Warming Glow]

50 Cent, QVC hawker, masturbation stopper, author, Occupy Wall Street supporter, everything but a musician, basically, including Guy Who Gets Awkwardly Rejected by Attractive Women on Live TV. The former-rapper attended this weekend’s Daytona 500, and after documenting his long journey there, Fox producers thought it wise to put him on camera with star-dancer Erin Andrews. According to USA Today:

As Andrews wandered around pit road on-camera, briefly speaking to drivers in passing, she spotted 50…Curtis Jackson approached her and went straight in for the kiss. Andrews did her best to dodge the kiss and he wound up settling for her cheek. (Via)

Get rejected or die tryin’, though the “nibble the cheek” move is considered subtle for the average Raiders fan.

(GIF via)

50 Cent’s new album “Street King Immortal” was set to be released tomorrow after several setbacks in 2012, but it seems that it has been pushed back once again to a tentative release date of “whenever the f*ck it happens”. This is worth mentioning because aside from beefing with Floyd Mayweather Jr. and starring in crappy energy shot commercials with Joan Rivers, I can’t figure out why the hell 50 Cent is being invited to huge events like the Daytona 500, but sure enough he was there yesterday and he was as poignant as ever.

Mr. Cent started his day by Tweeting that he couldn’t find any black people at the race, and everyone laughed because that joke is fresh. But to his credit, he at least set the race as a top priority, and he made that perfectly clear to his biggest fans…

I can’t I’m going to DAYTONA ok”@unicornswaggin: @50cent Rub my pussy with your nose please”

— 50cent (@50cent) February 24, 2013

Tampon ok,I’m busy DATONA OK”@orgasmicgomez: @50cent my pussy was meant to be filled hellooooo”

— 50cent (@50cent) February 24, 2013

Of course, the big news regarding 50 Cent’s presence was his meeting with Erin Andrews and the subsequent failed kiss heard around the world.

And in case you need that in GIF form:

A lot of people were outraged at 50 Cent for trying to steal a kiss from Andrews, but he clearly didn’t and still doesn’t care:

Hey I wanted to kiss herso I did “@mevinceg: Damn!!! @50cent is the shit! He kissed @erinandrews in one of the … m.tmi.me/LH1s9

— 50cent (@50cent) February 24, 2013

Look, I’m not going to pretend like what 50 Cent was cool or acceptable, because it’s not. I don’t care if he’s the President, Jimmie Johnson or even still a relevant rapper, he’s an adult at the Super Bowl of Motor Sports representing his brands. He should act like it. However, as someone who once forgot to cover an entire half of a college football game because I was too busy following Andrews around the sidelines of Williams-Brice Stadium, I’m hardly one to judge.

But remember, it could always be worse.

Last week, rapper 50 Cent started our Monday off with a chuckle after video, GIFs, pictures, memes and whatever else hit these bloggywebbytubes, featuring the occasional rapper and hilariously awful actor trying to get some sugar with FOX reporter Erin Andrews. Of course, Mr. Curtis Jackson saw Andrews in the infield at Daytona 500 and he did what most frat boys have only dreamed of by trying to kiss her. Andrews dodged the kiss with her attractive, blonde, dancer ninja skills and the rest is GIFtory.

Obviously, Andrews has a well-documented history of problems with invasions of privacy, so while some of us laughed, others shook their fists in rage and said, “How dare you laugh, this poor woman is a victim.” But it turns out that Andrews wasn’t a victim and the whole thing was actually her fault. So I guess you all owe 50 Cent an apology now.

TMZ JOURNALIST (caps lock for clarity): “Can you tell me about 50 Cent, was he trying to go in for a kiss?”

Erin Andrews: “No he wasn’t. Actually, it was my fault. Because I was so rushed and the drivers weren’t there, and all we wanted to do was get Danica [Patrick] because she was obviously the biggest story. It was my fault, I went in one way, he went in the other. Then they screamed in my ear, ‘Go get her, go get her!’ I ran, I panicked, I jerked my head very awkwardly.”

And so on and so forth. I don’t buy her little excuse, though, and let’s go to the video to show why.

First of all, Andrews was playing with fire as soon as she engaged Fiddy. He’s a wild card and a loose cannon who skirts SEC regulations by Tweeting about penny stocks like it’s his birthday, so he was obviously going to try some funny business. Some malarkey, if you will.

So why, then, is Andrews covering this up for 50 Cent? My guess is because they’re secretly married. I have nothing to base this on, of course, but I can tell a “Not at work, honey” face when I see one.

People are pretty funny. For years, a lot of us have been openly begging and praying for any of the major networks to step up to the plate and start a 24/7 sports channel that could rival ESPN. NBC, bless its big greedy heart, has given it a shot, but mostly to hilariously awful results. That’s what happens when your best show features Peter King and Mikey Florio pretending to be cool kids in J-school. (Also, run Michelle Beadle, run!)

But word broke recently that Rupert Murdoch was busting out the checkbook to fire up FOX Sports 1, a new network that would shake the foundation of televised sports journalism as we know it. And then it was revealed yesterday that part of that foundation would be daily sports shows starring Regis Philbin and Terry Bradshaw and we were all like, “Oh come the f*ck on.”

Alas, lost in that crappy, awful-old-white-dudes-talking-about-things-that-bother-them news is some great news for us UFC fans. Notably that FOX Sports 1 is going to give us even more live discussions.

A live UFC event, currently dubbed “UFC on FSN 1 1,” is set for Aug. 17 in primetime. A second live FSN 1 event is planned for December, according to a FOX official.

Following FSN 1’s launch and continuing throughout 2014, Wednesday nights will be a regular destination for UFC programming, including 14 live fight-night events also airing in primetime.

Programming such as “UFC Tonight,” which currently airs on FOX affiliate FUEL TV, and event re-airs will also air on Wednesday nights on FSN 1.

Additionally, FSN 1 will bolster the UFC’s pay-per-view schedule in late 2013 and 2014, airing 14 preliminary-card specials. The UFC promotes at least 12 pay-per-view events per year. (Via MMA Junkie)

And apparently FSN 1 will have some other stupid sports like NCAA football and NASCAR or something, but all we care about is more, more, more and even MORE UFC events. It also finally gives us something to do on Wednesdays, which are notoriously the most boring nights of the week. Wednesday is the NBC of weekdays.

So once again, with FSN 1’s new devotion to bringing even more attention to the UFC, I think this is a stellar opportunity to develop The Ultimate Fighter 18: Team Celeste vs. Team Palmer, as the promotion searches for its next great ring girl. Erin Andrews and Ronda Rousey agree.

Fox

Hey, America! If you were furious with “So You Think You Can Dance” for stuffing the eliminations into the top of the show, rejoice! As Cat Deeley informs us, the producers have heard your complaints and changed the show accordingly. As of this week, we’re back to the old format — the bottom six are announced at the top of the show, but the cuts aren’t made until the end. So, let’s move on. Great opening number from Sonya Tayeh and Christopher Scott!

Did anyone notice Jade missing from the opening number? I didn’t, honestly, but I wasn’t counting heads. But he was missing, because he tore his meniscus and has to have surgery. Naturally, he won’t be staying in the competition, but he tells everyone to dance and dream. Poor Jade. I know a lot of people were not fans of his, as there’s more than one animator on the show, but I’m always sorry to see anyone go due to injury. The good news: Nigel will probably let him come back some other season once he’s recovered. 

Speaking of judges, it’s a jam-packed judges’ table this week. “Birthday boy” Nigel Lythgoe is joined by Mary Murphy, Erin Andrews and Paula Abdul. I’m not sure I’m really excited about Paula as a judge, though she might do a better job with dancing than she did with singing. Erin Andrews is probably a big fan of the show and, as a broadcaster and “DWTS” alumna, has lots of opinions. I’m counting on her to drown out Paula’s random tangents.

Time for the bottom six. Jasmine M., BluPrint, Jenna, Curtis, Alexis and Jade are in the bottom. Nigel, who will be dancing for their lives? No guys are going home, so none of them will be dancing for their lives. Unfortunately for the girls, Nigel wants to see all three of them dance. 

So, they do exactly that. 

Alexis taps enthusiastically. I still hate tap. She has spunk, but I just don’t think there’s any indication that she can do more than this.

Jasmine M. writhes, but it’s a little disappointing. I really want Jasmine to do well, simple because she’s been so good and yet ended up in the bottom. Come on, America! 

Jenna is just so, so good. Ballroom solos are usually a little awkward, but she’s a spitfire. 

Amy & Fik-Shun

The Background: They’ll be doing a paso double. This will be less about Amy being the red cape and more, I guess, interactive. It’s a paso war!

The Dance: Fik-Shun’s feet are pretty leaden, but from the waist up he’s very good. Amy is, as usual, a beast. 

The Judges: Mary thought it was great. She thought Fik-Shun was great, though he needs to work on the footwork and the lines. Oh, and Amy is a warrior princess. Erin thinks Fik-Shun needs to feed the beast and they’re the ones to beat. Paula is so excited to see them in person. She thinks they committed to the hate, and she wishes Amy was around when she was choreographing. Oh, and she knows Fik-Shun and she’s so proud of him she could squish him. Nigel tells Fik-Shun to relax his shoulders. 

The Verdict: This wasn’t Fik-Shun’s forte, but he’ll get by on personality. Amy, of course, is going far, no worries. 

Jasmine H. & Aaron

The Background: They’ll be dancing a Spencer Liff Broadway routine which as a film noir/ murder mystery storyline. Hmmm.

The Dance: Aaron still seems too bulky to do what he does, but man alive, he does it. It doesn’t hurt that he’s paired with Jasmine, who is plain amazing. She’s truly graceful and so expressive, and her extension is beyond. 

The Judges: Erin thinks there was nothing dead about Jasmine’s legs and thinks Aaron came alive. Paula thinks of Aaron like an MGM contract dancer. He’s graceful and grounded. Jasmine reminds her of Cyd Charisse. Nigel went to New York this weekend and he loves Broadway, and he thinks either Aaron or Jasmine would be great on Broadway. Mary thinks this week was about style and class for this power couple. 

The Verdict: They are a power couple, and the fact that they have compelling backstories gives them an advantage. 

Makenzie & Paul

The Background: Its terminal illness dancing! That’s always a hit on this show. Anyway, this is also the debut of a new contemporary choreographer, Lindsay. 

TheDance: Not a great song for this. While it’s good, it doesn’t make me want to burst into tears. The bar has been set so high for dances about death, and this routine (and these dancers) aren’t quite at that level yet. That being said, it is (and they are) very good. 

The Judges: Paula thought it was a beautiful piece. Then she talks about Make-A-Wish. Someone, get her back on topic! Anyway, she thought there was a lot of life in a piece with so much terminal illness in it. Nigel thinks Makenzie is one of the best technical dancers on the show, but she had to let go of that for this dance, and he thinks she did. Mary is weepy. She loved it. She thought Makenzie floated and thinks Paul is a huge surprise. Erin bought in when Paul grabbed Makenzie. She never wants to see Makenzie in the bottom six again. I agree. 

The Verdict: I’m sure some people wept, and they will be voting for both of these dancers. 

Jasmine M. & Alan

The Background: They’ll be doing a Sean Cheesman jazz routine, and it’s going to be quirky and royal-themed and stuff. 

The Dance: This routine is spectacularly weird, and I actually love it. Can voters start pulling for Jasmine M., please? She’s so good! 

The Judges: Nigel like quirky routines like this. He’s amazed by how strong Alan is, and he thinks they had fun. Mary thought it was precise and sharp. She also liked the one-legged lift. She would have liked some more quirkiness. Erin wished they’d have let their hair down a little bit. Paula concurs. 

The Verdict: This might be too weird for voters, admittedly. But I hope this isn’t Jasmine M.’s last dance. 

Jenna & Tucker

The Background: Keone and Mariel Madrid have given Jenna and Tucker a hip hop routine. I’m worried, as it seems hip hop is tripping up almost everyone who isn’t a hip hop dancer this season. 

The Dance: This is only occasionally hip hop, as it’s really a jazz routine with some hip hop elements.  Will the judges be okay with that? Jenna and Tucker dance this very well, but I’m worried they’re going to get dinged for this. 

The Judges: Mary thought it was a bit jazzy. Nigel thought it was hip jazz. But still, Mary thinks Jenna can do anything, and she thought the style sat well with Tucker. Erin thinks Jenna can do anything as well. She thought Tucker was like the King. Elvis? Or Michael Jackson? I thought this was supposed to be a tribute to Michael Jackson. I’m so confused. Anyway, Paula thought it was great and thinks Jenna is amazing. Nigel was reminded of Audrey Hepburn in “Funny Face.” It’s one of his favorite routines of the night. 

The Verdict: The judges just glopped big love all over this, so I don’t think Jenna is going home at the end of the episode. That is, unless the judges are trying to be nice before they cut someone. It’s really hard to know with these darn judges sometimes. 

Malece (sans Jade)

The Background: She’s doing a Sonya Tayeh routine with All-Star Marko (as Jade is no longer available). I’m not surprised Jade pulled a muscle doing a Sonya routine.

The Dance:  Is the stage unusually dark? I can’t see Malece’s expression at all until the end. But it doesn’t really matter, as it’s just a gorgeous routine and Malece really delivers the goods from a dance perspective. I’m sure if I watch this on a better screen I’ll be able to see Malece’s expression, but I’m hopeful. 

The Judges: Standing O from the judges, so I think they liked it. Even Sonya is dancing in the aisles. Erin tells Malece she’s a little Tinkerbell, which is a good thing. Paula just adores Malece and thinks she’s matured. Every single thing she did was poetry in motion. Nigel is sorry to see Marko, because it means there’s been an injury. He thinks Marko brought out the woman in Malece. Mary knew Malece would have this moment on the show, and thought it was perfect from beginning to end. 

The Verdict: The judges love Malece, and I think she really is living up to their expectations at this point. 

Curtis & Hayley

The Background: It’s a samba from Jean Marc Genereux, and it’s going to be sexy, sexy, sexy. Maybe.

The Dance: This was fun, but Curtis disappeared. Hayley completely overshadowed him, and I just don’t think this pairing is working out. 

The Judges: Paula thinks Hayley nailed the samba hips, but thinks Curtis has to be more grounded and less afraid to move her around. Nigel thinks he was dominated by Hayley, and he needs to step up. He thought Curtis looked a little immature. Mary thought some of the samba runs didn’t work, so Curtis needs to work on his feet. But she thought Hayley was amazing. Erin says Hayley is a vixen who just keeps getting better week after week. And Curtis needs to improve. 

The Verdict: Curtis could be in trouble next week. 

Alexis & Nico

The Background: It’s a Spencer Liff routine in which Alexis hypnotizes Nico, so this could be fun or it could be gimmicky. 

The Dance: Alexis just seems to be dancing underwater. She lacks precision and she’s not much fun to watch, to be honest. Nico, on the other hand, has great extension and really nails some of the moves. Still, these two might be my least favorite couple. 

The Judges: Nigel thought there was some stuff in this. Paula was mesmerized by them. Nigel thought Nico was very, very good. Mary was hypnotized. Paula kisses Nigel. Anyway, Mary thought they were evenly matched. Erin thinks Alexis adapted well to the routine, and Nico has gorgeous turns. 

The Verdict: Despite what the judges said, Alexis was not hot. She needs to go home, I think.

Mariah & BluPrint

The Background: They get a hip hop routine from Luther Brown, which sounds like “Leekha” Brown when Cat Deeley says it. Where are all the chyrons this week? 

The Dance: Mariah promises this is going to be sick. I hope it is. The expectations are high for hip hop dancers doing hip hop. And this is initially amazing… then they lie down on the floor and execute moves EVEN THE CAMERAS CAN’T PICK UP VERY WELL. What the hell was Luther thinking? Not cute. I miss NappyTabs. 

The Judges: Mary thought BluPrint coped well with the choreography but needs him to emote more. Still, Mary thought it was sick, but not ill. Erin thought Mariah shook it and she wants to see BluPrint emote. Paula thought they were in synch, but felt they didn’t stay in character throughout. She wants more personality from BluPrint, but thought Mariah exudes personality. Nigel agrees. 

The Verdict: Mariah is, yes, sick. BluPrint might survive by association, and for showing his abs. 

Nigel tells Jenna… that she will be staying. She wilts in relief. Jasmine M. steps forward. The choreographers feel she has too much self-doubt. But she’s tremendous! So she needs to lose that. On to Alexis. Choreographers give her a note, and she’ll fix her movements, then five minutes later screw up again. 

And Jasmine M. is going home. NO! I am so disappointed. She needs to be more self-confident… so they’re sending her home. That will help. I would think that would be easier to fix than Alexis being a dumbass who can’t take direction. Unreal. Really, the only tapper I want to see more of in this competition is Aaron. 

So, Jasmine M. and Jade get the boot.  Very sad to see Jasmine M. go, a little less sad to see Jade get the boot. I still feel as if the judges are trying to save people according to some strategy they have as opposed to strong dancing or great personality. But maybe things will get better next week?

Were you sad to see Jasmine M. and Jade go? Who do you think will be eliminated next week? What did you think of Paula and Erin as judges? 

Oh my God, dude, what’re you looking at

What are you looking at.

Poor Erin Andrews. She’s just trying to tell the nice people about the Bruno Mars Superbowl halftime show and these two guys, identified as “Beardo” and “Dreads” in the YouTube description, ruin everything. The information, Erin’s report … my sanity, I think.

Here’s the artists in motion:

O__O

Erin Andrews with Boston Red Sox catcher Michael Jackson

Catcher Mike Napoli homered in Tuesday’s Game 3 of the American League Championship Series, giving the Boston Red Sox the game’s only run and a 1-0 victory against the Detroit Tigers ace/Kate Upton-denier Justin Verlander. It’s the time of crucial moment that a serious, details-oriented sideline reporter would be excited to talk about with the game’s big star.

In a related story, here’s Erin Andrews almost calling Justin Verlander ‘Justin Bieber.’

No harm, no foul, right? More of a ‘Justin Vee’ than anything.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) Erin Andrews lacks the ability to say, ‘heh, whoops, stumbled over my words for a second’ and has engaged in a Twitter war against anyone who thinks she might’ve made a mistake. Here she is making expertly-humorless use of an unnecessarily catty hashtag, forever cementing her legacy as the blonde, loosely-sports-related Kanye West:

Tigers stars Enrique Iglesias and Prince The Singer were unable to be reached for comment.

(via Getty Image)

In 2013, you can guarantee two things from a World Series win:

1. The people who live in that team’s city, even the ones who don’t watch baseball, will go crazy and start flipping and burning everything, and
2. Everyone will start saying “f*ck” on television.

It just happens. Back in April, David Ortiz experimented in the field of justifiable f-bombs, and I guess it makes sense that a season that began with flagrant broadcast cursing would end with it.

Last night, the Boston Red Sox defeated the St. Louis Cardinals 6-1 in Game 6 to take home their third World Series Cup in nine years. Like clockwork, Jon Lester interrupted an Erin Andrews interview with John Lackey by leaning in and announcing, “have we said f*ck by accident yet? We haven’t? Oh shit, well, f*ck!”

See, this is why the Detroit Tigers should’ve made it to the World Series. Justin Bieber wouldn’t have cursed on TV.

The charming follow-up to that features a drunk guy explaining how history works:

So yeah, congratulations to the f*cking Red Sox. I hope nobody accidentally says f*ck during your parade. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

(via Getty Image)

(via Getty Image)

(via Getty Image)

FOX Sports

FOX is already hyping Super Bowl XLVIII as “the coldest and boldest Super Bowl ever,” and concerns over weather dominated the network’s Super Bowl panel at the 2014 TCA Winter press tour.

“We’ve spent a lot of time with the league going over contingency plans,” Fox Sports co-president Eric Shanks says. “We had three games this year delayed on FOX because of weather. [That said,] it’s not like football isn’t played in the cold. We were just in Green Bay and it was three degrees.”

“We’re prepared along with the league, because of health and safety concerns, to find the best possible time, even the best possible day, to get the game played,” Shanks adds.

Best possible day? Yes, there’s still the possibility that 2014 may not have a Super Bowl Sunday, but a Super Bowl Monday or even Super Bowl Saturday instead.

“It’s going to be a decision based on health and safety,” Shanks explains, saying that the league, meteorologists and the New York and New Jersey governors will all be involved. “Does the league believe the game can be played on Monday? Would it be better to play on Saturday? There are also multiple options for Sunday: you can move the game a little later if roads and tunnels and bridges need to be cleared, you can move the game a little earlier. I think [the decision] will be made as late as possible but still try to give enough people enough time to plan.”

While Shanks fielded the bulk of weather-related questions, the other panelists — on-air talent Curt Menefee, Howie Long and Erin Andrews — did their best to deflect any concerns.

“I think it’s more of a media driven story,” Menefee says. “It’s going to be cold. The 140 million people who are sitting at home? They’re comfortable.”

“If I’m a player, do I want to be a part of winning a Super Bowl in a special unique environment like that? Yeah, I do,” adds Long.

Andrews agrees, and notes the players will have time to prepare for any conditions. “Those guys are going to be out there a week before the game so they’re going to get to deal with the elements.”

“I just want to make sure that Bruno Mars is warm,” Long jokes about the game’s Half Time Show co-headliner. “That’s a concern for me.”

For many football fans, all the fuss about weather probably sounds silly (barring the possibility that serious conditions, like a blizzard, could delay the game). “The NFL shouldn’t be apologizing for a cold weather Super Bowl,” Shanks says. “Football is a cold weather sport. We should embrace it. Hopefully this one goes off great.”

Other highlights from the Super Bowl press tour panel:

– Shanks responded to criticism that New York is heavily featured in the network’s game promos even though MetLife Stadium is actually in New Jersey. “We have events during the week from New Jersey,” Shanks says. “We’re not hiding the fact that it’s in New Jersey. I think most people recognize that the area is New York. We work with the host committee to make sure New Jersey is equally represented.” He also notes that “using Times Square as the backdrop is going to be pretty appealing to viewers” and that “starting Wednesday before the Super Bowl, 12 blocks of Broadway will be shut down” for several days of pre-game festivities.

– None of the panelists were willing to predict which teams will wind up in the big game, but Menefee says there’s reason to be excited no matter who wins on Sunday: “When you look at the match-ups, no matter who wins you’re gonna wind up with a match-up of a classic old school quarterback against this new generation. There will be a lot of talk about whether this is the passing of the guard or the old guys prove themselves.”

– Shanks also addressed the status of the Fox Sports 1 and the opportunity to give viewers a new impression of the network with a series of big ticket events coming up. “We look at Super Bowl week, speed weeks and the start of baseball season as a month that starts the next phase of live events on Fox Sports 1,” Shanks says. “Because we’re the rights holder for the game we have unprecedented access. We’re gonna spend more time with the team, more time with the coaches, we’re gonna cover things like media day, we’ll have presence in Times Square that other networks won’t have. It’s a chance for us to show off solid coverage. We are the network of the Super Bowl all week long. It’s not a relaunch, it’s the next phase we had planned.”

– Shanks promises viewers can expect some new technology during the game, but exactly what’s ready could come down to the wire. “We’ll have more 4K cameras than ever before to be able to zoom into things to get that definitive angle,” he promises. “We have something up our sleeve to show something that you can’t see, which is wind. You might be able to see very accurately what the wind is doing to a quarterback or field goal kicker.” Viewers will get a preview of another breakthrough this weekend: “We have this infrared camera to show players’ body temperatures on the field, like the Terminator.”

ICYMI, Seattle Seahawks defensive back Richard Sherman made one hell of a game-ending play at the end of Sunday night’s game against the San Francisco 49ers. But that’s not what has everyone saying his name this Monday morning.

Shortly after the play, sideline reporter Erin Andrews stopped Sherman – known to talk the talk and walk the walk – to get his reaction to it all…and Sherman, still turned all the way up past 10 and always good for trash talk, gave her one amazing, adrenaline-filled reaction. We’re talking full-on, WWE, going-for-the-belt promo mode where all he needed was the DX chop at the end. Instant classic.

After the interview aired, the Internet took over and the Richard Sherman memes began*.

Dear Michael Crabtree, please don’t ever talk about Richard again, for Erin’s sake.

* — For those who saw the interview as a negative or a lack of smarts from Sherman, Forbes points out that he graduated second in his class in high school and has a degree from Stanford.

Also, “his degree from Stanford was in communications … which might explain why, while he seemed to be hollering like a crazy person, he didn’t curse and looked into the camera the whole time.” So, he’s probably smarter than all of us or at least smarter than we realize.

I’m sure that you’ve watched Richard Sherman’s postgame interview with Erin Andrews by now. If not, you can watch it over at KSK. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Feel free to show it to some coworkers while you’re at it. If your boss gets upset, tell him that he’s a dick for making you work on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Once you’re finished watching it, go ahead and sign in to whatever social media accounts that you have and register a formal opinion about it to your friends and random strangers, because that’s what most people have already done.

About those opinions – if you’re in any way upset with the way that Sherman acted in that interview (and you’re not a San Francisco 49ers fan) you should probably reconsider your opinion. I don’t like telling people that they’re wrong, because opinions are like a-holes and we all poop out of them, but Sherman is an absolute breath of fresh air for professional sports. He didn’t curse, threaten to eat Michael Crabtree’s offspring, fire guns into the crowd, piss on the American flag, or try to make out with Andrews. He was excited about his team’s huge win over its biggest rival, and he was lost in the moment. It was pretty awesome. Again, unless you’re a 49ers fan.

“No thanks,” I’m sure some of you are saying, “I’ll take my celebrations with class and dignity, if you don’t mind.” That’s cool. You’re allowed to feel that way. But I watch that video (again and again) and I can’t help but think how badly other sports – looking at you, UFC – could use a personality of such magnitude, and an athlete that possesses such polarizing charisma but still doesn’t actually offend or hurt anyone. Except, of course, 49ers fans. We’re really lucky to be watching a guy like Richard Sherman play.

And if this brief defense of a guy’s happiness doesn’t change your mind, then you should watch him take down Skip Bayless on First Take again. Because if I had written a serious (and stale and clichéd) Best Sports Moments of 2013 post, this would have been No. 1.

The topic of discussion went from playoff Sunday to Richard Sherman Monday as the talkative Seahawks player became the subject for all sports junkies after his highly entertaining chat with Erin Andrews yesterday. Not all of the chatter was humorous though as there were those who had a negative response to Sherman’s interview, some calling him less than professional to others who tread the line towards racism.

Sherman heard it all. Never one to shy away from back and forth communication, he responded with an essay published on Sports Illustrated where he explains what happened to cause his overexcited reaction and other points from Sunday’s game, including the adrenaline rush of a big play leading to an even bigger win, Seattle’s 12th man’s bad behavior, his history with Michael Crabtree and more.

“Erin Andrews interviewed me after the game and I yelled what was obvious: If you put a subpar player across from a great one, most of the time you’re going to get one result. As far as Crabtree being a top-20 NFL receiver, you’d have a hard time making that argument to me.

“But that’s not why I don’t like the man. It goes back to something he said to me this offseason in Arizona, but you’d have to ask him about that. A lot of what I said to Andrews was adrenaline talking, and some of that was Crabtree. I just don’t like him.

“It was loud, it was in the moment, and it was just a small part of the person I am. I don’t want to be a villain, because I’m not a villainous person. When I say I’m the best cornerback in football, it’s with a caveat: There isn’t a great defensive backfield in the NFL that doesn’t have a great front seven. Everything begins with pressure up front, and that’s what we get from our pass rushers every Sunday.”

According to the Seattle Times, that summertime slight took place at a charity event of all places.

“Sherman has been upset with Crabtree since last summer. Both attended Arizona star receiver Larry Fitzgerald’s charity event. While there, Sherman went to shake Crabtree’s hand, and Crabtree tried to start a fight, according to Sherman’s older brother, Branton.

“I’m going to make a play and embarrass him,” Richard Sherman vowed that day.”

Sherman’s always been known to be a brash talker. Anyone who has followed his career knew this long before last night’s game. But, what many fail to realize is he’s not a bad person; he’s just a really obnoxious football player. Seahawks fans know it and most of the 49ers players and faithful will attest to it as well. Sherman knows it too, which is why he also wrote “To those who would call me a thug or worse because I show passion on a football field—don’t judge a person’s character by what they do between the lines. Judge a man by what he does off the field, what he does for his community, what he does for his family.”

Off the field, as previously mentioned, he’s a smart guy. On the academic side, Stanford degrees don’t come easy, jock or not. As an athlete, Sherman’s that guy opposing players detest. He talks for days and weeks leading up to the game, he talks even more during and he doesn’t stop even after time expires. He’s the villain, but he’s also the reason fans tune in. They either want to see him back up his boasts or get burned so they can point and mock. People may not like him, but he’s a character the game needs to make it entertaining.

But that’s on the field. Any questioning of who he is outside the lines and off the field should be done using a different measuring stick.

Sherman closes out his article by noting that the Super Bowl will pit “the No. 1 offense vs. the No. 1 defense. It’s a match made in heaven.” He goes on to note that he and his Seattle teammates “didn’t sneak into the Super Bowl; we earned our way.”

He also points out that “There will be a lot of talking, but at this point, after 18 games, there’s nothing left to say.”

I highly doubt that last part holds true for him though. In fact, I hope it doesn’t.

Not to be forgotten, Sherman new Beats ad mocks the fact that he hears what detractors are saying. Oh, the irony.

Photo: Getty

Previously: “Don’t You Ever Talk About Me”: The Internet Reacts To Richard Sherman’s Postgame Interview

In case you were in space for the last 24 hours and have just returned to Earth and turned on your phone, Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman went Super Saiyan during a post-game interview with Erin Andrews, changing her life and ours with a hollered rant on Michael Crabtree. Somewhat predictably, the Internet loved it — the parts of the Internet that aren’t tempted to type the word “classy,” at least — and turned it into every meme they could think of, including the image at the top of this post.

Because Sherman’s interview was so similar in tone and content to a pro wrestler’s, reporters have spent most of the day tracking down whichever wrestlers they can find and asking them HEY DO YOU KNOW RICHARD SHERMAN, SAY SOMETHING FOR US PLEASE. The best one to respond so far is former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, yoga magnate and Ready To Rumble star Diamond Dallas Page. He thinks Sherman and Crabtree should settle their beef inside the wrestling ring, because they are both football players and … wait, I forgot where I was going with that.

SEXILY copied and BRUTALLY PASTED … from TMZ:

DDP tells TMZ Sports he watched the Seahawk star’s epic post-game rant Sunday night … and says plain and simple — “Richard Sherman is a bad ass.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think Sherman vs. Crabtree was going down at Wrestlemania.”

In fact, Page says he thinks Sherman SHOULD brawl at the April 6 event … and could probably become a WWE superstar when he decides to hang up his football cleats.

Let me tell you something Sherman … you need to absolutely think of the WWE as your career.”

New rule: anybody who excitedly yells must be a pro wrestler.

Here’s what a current WWE star had to say:

If Sherman takes Page’s advice (and frankly there are few wrestlers you should listen to more than DDP) it won’t be the first time a pro football player has waltzed into a main-event spot at wrestling’s biggest show of the year. Let’s not forget the epic Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow showdown from WrestleMania 11.

Or, on the other side of the spectrum, the entire pro wrestling career of Steve Mongo McMichael.

You’ll be one or the other, Richard Sherman. Consider it.

The Seattle Seahawk’s Richard Sherman got a huge amount of flack when he ranted about San Francisco 49ers Michael Crabtree in his on-field interview with Erin Andrews after the NFC Championship game, even though it was one of the rare times that that an interview on the field was actually entertaining. Seriously, the next time you watch any sport, pay attention to the interview, and while you pay attention, realize this is the time to use the restroom. What this video shows is that Sherman went in for the energetic and sportsmanlike handshake, and was met with a slap to the face. I’ve had Mario Kart races end worse than this. Just kidding, Yoshi owns all. ALL.

Video Via Youtube

Erin Andrews: “That last play, take me through it.”

Derrick Johnson: “WELL I’M THE BEST COOK IN THE CHIEFS LOCKER ROOM! WHEN YOU TRY ME WITH A SORRY RUNNING BACK LIKE JAMAAL CHARLES THAT’S THE RESULT YOU GONNA GET! DON’T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT ME!”

Andrews: “Who was talking about you?”

Johnson: “JAMAAL! HE SAID I WAS A LOUSY COOK AND MY PROFITEROLES WERE DRY AND LACKED FINESSE, SO I SAID I’D LIGHT HIM UP IN THE PRO BOWL! DON’T YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH ABOUT THE BEST, OR I’M GONNA SHUT IT FOR YOU REAL QUICK! SEACREST OUT!”

First things first, congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks for becoming Super Bowl champions. If we didn’t have an NFL-dedicated sister site, that’s all you’d be reading about on here today. Spoiler alert: it’s all you’re gonna read about today anyway.

Second things first (?), here’s FOX News’ Howard Kurtz interviewing sideline reporter Erin Andrews for Media Buzz and calling her a “television performer” to her face. Jump to 2:15 for that great moment when a LIBERAL like me is allowed to TWIST HIS WORDS and tell people he’s LOLing and calling her a sports-entertainer. Watch him bobbing his head as he busts out “journalist.” Dude’s two seconds away from calling her a WWE Diva.

The interesting, non-inferred moment of the interview was Andrews declaring that she wished more NFL athletes would be like Richard Sherman, that heartless, compassionless thug who is now a rich happy educated millionaire AND a Super Bowl Champion.

(Meanwhile, Crabtree is almost finished with this jigsaw puzzle he picked up at the store over the weekend.)

“I don’t think it was bizarre, I think it was great,” Andrews said, contrasting Sherman’s reaction to the more pedestrian, precooked responses she usually gets from ballplayers. “I wish more athletes would be like that…We want someone to lose their minds like that…That’s why it went viral, that’s why people were going bananas over it. You don’t usually see athletes doing that. You see them very composed.”

Peyton Manning is already saving up to buy one of those funny “sexy” Halloween costumes to wear for post-game interviews next season.

h/t to Bob’s

INSTAGRAM

Welcome to “Things Larry David Could Be Doing Instead Of Taking Selfies With Erin Andrews,” with special guest Fox Sports 1 host Charissa Thompson. Here’s the complete list:

1. Writing/shooting season nine of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

This has been the first and hopefully last entry of “Things Larry David Could Be Doing Instead Of Taking Selfies With Erin Andrews.” (That being said, the selfie episode of Curb is going to be great.)

INSTAGRAM

Via Instagram

Getty Image

Joe Buck told a story about Larry David from when the two attended sportscaster Erin Andrews’ wedding that sounds like something straight out of an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Conveniently, the show is back and early reviews are good. So if you’re getting excited for Curb and need something that puts you back in that mindset then this story is certainly for you. It sounds like a celebrity game of Mad Libs, except that the story Buck tells is so entirely on brand for Larry David that it must be true.

Buck appeared on the Howard Stern Show and told a story about Andrews’ wedding, where Buck and David were both guests.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA4JWQMvruU

Stern correctly asks how Larry David ended up at Erin Andrews’ wedding, and Buck said he was there with a friend, who was invited. Then he slips into story mode.

“You know Larry enough to know that what you see on Curb Your Enthusiasm is exactly how he is,” Buck begins.

“So, Erin got married at this place called the Yellowstone Club. We’re on this mountain top. It was gorgeous, but it was sunny. Larry’s in the row behind me and he’s like, ‘I thought if i wore a hat I’d look like a jerk and now I’m dying of skin cancer. It’s so sunny and I don’t have any sunblock and I left the hat in the room and I’m waiting for the [Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song].”

This is incredible, but then the sun goes down and it gets worse for David.

“And then we go to the reception afterward and it got cold, and by cold it was like 50.” Buck said. “And now he’s shivering and they’re bring him blankets and putting candles in front of him like it’s a small fire that he’s gonna get warm from. It was awesome. He’s such a great guy.”

Buck is asked if he was at David’s table, which he was. David and Buck were at a table with Troy Aikman! What did those three talk about? Other than the weather, that is.